The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

As long time readers of this blog can attest to, I seldom keep things to myself. This is more of a journal for me than anything, where I can come and write down my thoughts. So here goes.

The last two weeks have been horrible. I successfully completely the Whole30 and was feeling on top of the world. I thought that I had everything under control and I was going to only improve. I was so wrong.

You're supposed to reintroduce foods into your diet slowly after you finish the Whole30. I learned about this a few day prior to completion. I didn't have the energy to figure out the reintroduction schedule and I already had plans. That might have not been the best idea.


I have been physically ill the last 2 weeks from all the crap that I've been eating. It's nothing like what I was eating prior to when I started out, but it's so different from what I'm used to, especially eating from Whole30. It started out with the candy closet at work. I tried a piece of chocolate to see how I felt. It didn't taste really good and it didn't fill any particular void. But then I would try some more.. you know, just for accuracy. Then I was back to eating a handful of peanut m&ms here, and some trail mix there, a candy bar here (snack size) and some more chocolate there. Add that to the additional carb binge (granola, bread, cereal) and I'm right back to where I started. I haven't weighed myself since my weigh in at the end of Whole30. I feel like I've gained back everything that I worked so hard to lose


There's an excerpt from the companion book to Whole30 "It Starts with Food". It really hit me:

In addition, creating healthy dietary habits isn't just about restricting or eliminating certain foods. You already know that fast food, junk food, and sweets aren't good for you. You know you shouldn't eat them if you want to lose weight, get off your medication, or be healthier.
Yet you continue to eat them.
You struggle with food cravings, bad habits, compulsions, and addictions. You know you shouldn't, but you feel compelled to eat these foods. Sometimes, you don't even want them, but you eat them anyway. And you have a hard time stopping. All of which makes you feel guilty and stressed -- and more likely to comfort yourself with even more unhealthy food.
We're here to tell you:
It's not your fault.
You are not lacking willpower. You are not lazy. and it's not your fault that you can't stop eating these foods.

It then goes on and explains why, etc.It's a great book, even if you're not going to do the Whole30, it has some great information in it.

And then when I'm not on my game 100% I feel like a hypocrite to everyone encouraging me and supporting me and that I'm letting everyone down. I know that (for the most part) isn't the case, but it's the mentality with which I struggle. I discussed this with a few people. Basically what has come from it is that I'm doing this for me. If I want to quit now then I can quit now. People are just happy with what I've been able to do thus far and I should be too. But ultimately I started this for me and I need to continue to do this for me. I'm so lucky to have the support of so many. I think I'm just kind of tired. I've been going strong for 18 months. The last few months have been more challenging than those of the past, more mentally than physically.  I'm still at the gym 5-6 days a week, but my workouts haven't really been what they were in the past. I'm not pushing myself as hard as I was. I guess it's a good thing I signed up for RAGNAR, something to focus on and get me training. Now I just have to stick with that. It's time to just refocus and get moving again.

Alright.. enough of a pity party, I just needed to get that off my chest. Here we go, back at it! Today is a new day, a new week, maybe not so much a new month, but you don't have to wait until then to recommit.