60

As this number was looming this week, I had a lot of thoughts going on in my head. I have sat down a few times to type them up for my dear readers, just to be distracted by other things. Now that I have hit 60 I don't really have the words to describe my feelings.

Most of you know that I had Lap-Band Surgery a few years ago (6 years ago, I think, I really can't remember). Anyway, things were going great. I had a difficult time with it, and actually I still do. I was able to lose just under 50lbs, and then I found a way to cheat the system. I loved food. I loved to eat. It was my comfort and my joy. The band was there to stop me from eating the amounts of food that I loved. I soon found that ice cream went down, smooth as silk. Also, if I ate a lot, but wanted more, I just needed to drink a glass or two of water and then I could start eating all over again. I wasn't committed, besides a piece of tubing wrapped around my stomach.

That being said, was there any surprise that I gained all of the weight back, and then some? Yeah, didn't think so. So what's different this time? It was 100% my decision. I made the initial decision to make a change and I followed through on it. I'm committed in every aspect. I keep reminding myself that this isn't a diet; it's a lifestyle change!

I've been feeling like my body is ready to 'take it up another notch'. Thursday's workout consisted mostly of lunges and squats on the machine from hell. My feet are spaced weirdly so it makes things difficult. It's a lot harder for me to start, because I'm not confident that my legs are going to make it through the workout. Once I get started I'm able to do them, it's just that initial uncertainty of failure that gets me every time. I'm glad I didn't do my warm up on the stair master because we did a few intervals on that to end the night. Matt likes to tease me with how much I LOVE the exercises that in all reality I despise. Oh well.

I was also concerned that I wasn't working hard enough (I know, crazy). He assured me that I was definitely working hard, harder than most gym goers. And the fact that I'm exceeding my weekly/monthly weight loss goals also shows that I'm working hard. He said he wouldn't worry unless I stop meeting those goals. He keeps reminding me that when I get closer to my goal weight it's going to be harder to lose the weight. I think he's preparing me so I don't freak out, which is really smart. Oh I also asked if I could use his name on my blog, maybe a little too late, but he said yes and to give him the address so he can check it out.. which means.. I may be doing some editing to a few posts ;)

Thursday night I was leaving the gym and a guy pulled up to me in the parking lot. I was freaked out a little. He leaned over through the window and told me that he had noticed me in the gym, working my butt off, and he could really see the difference and for me to keep up the work. I was on cloud nine after that. I had had a great work out, got some more motivation to keep on going and then a complete stranger telling me that I was doing an awesome job. I also met both cardio goal and circuit goal for Friday and Saturday. I'm not feeling exceptionally well, so I hope resting today will help for the upcoming week.

Anyway, here you go. Not the best picture, but I really don't care! I'm now to the point where I've lost more weight than ever before. My next goal is 299 (17 pounds to go!!!!)