thoughts

I've realized this week that I really need to make a mroe conscious effort into eating the way I should. I've noticed an increase in "exceptions", ie, Oh sure, you can have that candy bar, you'll still lose weight. Ice cream is a great treat, you deserve it, look at all the weight you're losing. Cookies?! Why not!! Sadly, this is all in one day. I'm still losing the weight, but it won't be for long if I continue this path. This is exactly what I did after I had lost the 50ish pounds with the Lap Band, and that didn't end they way we wanted it to.

I'm also getting more paranoid with injuries. Actually, I don't know if it's paranoia setting in, or the adversary trying to get me to stop. I rolled my ankle while I was home for Christmas and my first thoughts were that I wouldn't be able to exercise and I would gain all of my weight back. I have this weird shock feeling in my wrist when I do certain weights. I'm freaking out that I'm going to pop a tendon and that will be that. I'm convinced I have a stress fracture in my foot. Tuesday I pulled my groin doing squats and lunges. We had to stop doing them because it was too uncomfortable. It's better now, but still a bit tender.

I'm done with excuses. I'm just going to start again and do what I can. Everyone has been so supportive!

We were talking at work yesterday about the biggest loser. I didn't watch the last episode, but apparently they did a weigh in and one of the ladies broke down because she had never remembered herself being that weight. I'm 15 lbs away from 299. I don't think I've been that weight since high school. We're going to throw a little party at work. You're invited. My grandma also said she's going to throw me a party when I lose 100lbs (35 more lbs). You're invited to that one as well. Heaven knows what's going to happen when I reach my goal weight.