Who is that person?

I was looking through my profile pictures.. it's amazing what a year can do..

I mean.. my hair grows fast!!!!

My gym can beat up your gym

Tonight I was running at the gym (yay for running!). After I was done, the lady next to me tapped me on my shoulder and thanked me. She had never ran before on the treadmill and was really scared to try. She said she just followed my example, pace, and posture and was able to run for a full 6 minutes!! I'm so proud of her! I'm glad she watched me now that I've been able to correct my running to prevent further injury.

I love working out at my gym. It really is a second home, actually more like a first home because I have more friends there :). I hadn't been in the gym since Thursday because I was out of town Friday and Saturday and my mom has called me to repentance for going on Sundays. So it had been 96 hours since the last time I went. I went in and talked to Cassidy at the front desk for about 10 minutes and then went into the dressing room to change. On the way out I saw Stacey, a personal trainer, working with my friend KC. I stopped and talked to them for a few minutes about working out and tomorrow's boot camp. Then I got on the treadmill next to my friend Niki and we caught up for a few minutes. KC came over after his session and we talked for about 10 minutes. In between machines I caught up with Peter and Adam, both of them asking how was my trip to Moab and welcoming me back. It just feels so good to belong. I've been a member of a lot gyms in my struggles to lose weight and I've never felt like they really cared. This experience is completely different than all the others in the past.

Today was the restart of "Erin's going to healthy and get control over her sugar tooth". It was going perfectly until 12:30pm when we had a last minute ice cream sundae social at work. Yup. Ice cream, hot fudge, FAT FREE caramel sauce and crunched up oreos. Can't do better than that. I went back for 2nds and then at 4:30 after everyone left I got another scoop. I'm so proud of myself :). I can't remember the last time I had ice cream, honestly, so I guess my brain freaked out that I would never have this again and HAD to eat as much as was possible! Tomorrow starts another day, without ice cream, for sure!

Lifting like a dude

So yesterday was another session with Matt. After working out with him twice a week for 8 months I have now cut back to once every two weeks. It's definitely harder to push myself when I'm working out alone, but I've also added in BootCamp and BodyPump into my schedule so others can tell me what to do.

The plan for yesterday was to do a leg work out. A few of my friends had "leg sessions" earlier in the week with another trainer, Stacey, and they had all mentioned how much pain they were in afterwards. I was starting to psyche myself out, like I normally do. I've had a very productive week of workouts thus far, but I was afraid that my legs would tire out before we got to the workout. We started on my FAVORITE machine, the Smiths Machine. This has a bar set on a track that keeps it in line. You have to make sure the bar is rolled back, otherwise it will hook in place and you may be in a little bit of trouble.

Anyway, we did a warm up set of deep squats (see video) and then Matt just started adding more weights. By the end of the squats I was at 175lbs. We did the deep squats and then Matt pulled a bench in and I would squat until I touched the bench, lifting back up. The whole time I was doing the squats I could just feel this guy staring at me. It was a good stare, like a ddaaaayyyyuuummmmm stare. Anything more than the 45lb plates looks intimidating.

We did a couple sets of single leg lunges (back leg up on a step) afterwards. My legs were already shaking. This was followed by some stairs (3 at a time, forward then sideways), laying down hamstring curls (sorry bench), and alternating straight leg/bent knee dead lifts. I'm not sure what the weights were on the hamstring curls, but I think the dead lifts were somewhere between 75-90. When we were done, Matt "apologized" that we weren't able to get to the inclined (declined?) leg press. I would like to see where I'm at now, as opposed to 3 months ago, and if it would matter doing the leg presses at the beginning or end of the workout. This was back in May (680lbs). Maybe you'll get an update in the upcoming weeks

And now for the point of this post. I'm coming to grips with reality. I think it's safe to say that I'm stronger than your average woman. I'm still a little shy (?) when it comes to lifting the heavier weights. I somehow think that if I can out-benchpress a guy then I lose my femininity. But part of me then realizes that doing squats (or any strength training for that matter) at a lower weight won't be doing me any good. I have to do the weight that is challenging for me. I'm still weak in some areas (shoulders, biceps anyone??), but for the most part, it's pretty above average.

For the guys out there who actually read this (are there any?).. Is it intimidating when a girl is lifting more than you? Are you afraid she might beat you up? Am I kind of crazy (don't answer that)?

It usually comes up that the fact is I'm also heavier and have been carrying around a lot of weight for a good portion of my life has caused my body to build up certain strengths so I don't crush myself and that I can actually be mobile. I forgot how the conversation started, but I said something last night that I truly believe. I may say that I hate whatever exercise we're doing (at this time it was the deadlifts), but I know that I'll love it when I'm done. It's great to see your body do things you never thought possible. So to everyone out there, quit doubting yourself. If you want to change, do it! You will find the strength, energy, commitment that you need to if the want and desire (and in my case NEED) is there.

Here's to not psyching myself out, living with the knowledge that I can secretly whoop all of the guys in my office, and basking in the light of my physical strength. Thank you, body, for not falling apart on me when I took such horrible care of you.

Or walking to the next machine

side note: I went all day yesterday without any additional candy, chocolate, sugar. I'm halfway through today. Thank you to those who posted on Facebook their ideas, suggestions for quitting sugar. Hi, my name is Erin and I'm a sugar addict. One day at a time!

Random thoughts, but not very random, so mostly just thoughts

I've been looking through old pictures the last few days. It catches me off guard to see where I was. I'm 6 weeks away from my year mark on this life change. I am blown away from all the words of encouragement that I have received. I'm grateful for the opportunity that is now mine to share with people my experience and to provide the support that I can to those wanting to make changes for themselves. I am in no way perfect with this whole dieting and exercising thing. I probably have more bad days with the eating then I do good days. I still have some mental blocks that I need to work on to get control of my needing to eat everything in sight. I think I have the exercising down :) But the closer I get to my goal weight, the hard it's going to be to be lose that weight. This means working harder and being more diligent with what I'm eating.

I have been having some pain in my hip from running. I was "diagnosed" with gluteus medius tendonitis. So the gluteus medius is part of your butt muscle, that connects onto your hip (thus causing the pain). I've been going to physical therapy every week for the past month. I haven't been running on it for 6 weeks (as all you on facebook can attest to). Today I got the all clear. I still need to take it easy, I have to change how I'm running. Previously I have been taking longer strides and landing on my heels. This causes more of a jarring effect and doesn't help engaging the glutes. So now I have to take shorter strides and land more midfoot. My physical therapist had me practice today on the treadmill. It's awkward at first, but I can definitely tell the difference.

I'm heading home in 5 weeks to spend time with the family. It's so great to not be stressing out about fitting in my seat on the plane. That's me. I'm always worried about what other people think of me. I probably had mini heart attacks every time I got on the plane and just making up what every one was thinking about me. Through this short time I have come to realize how blessed I am to have such great friends and family who have loved me no matter what size I am. Truly, truly blessed.

I feel like I'm no longer trapped in an unhealthy body. I can definitely do more things than I've been able to do in the past. My friend keeps reminding me that I'm an athlete now. I would have never used that word to describe me. I have to get my workouts in. I just feel so much better. It is such a relief to be able to run again. I've been able to make more friends at the gym, so it's really just turned into one big party.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, other people/things can make you want to change (I want to lose weight for my kids, I want to lose weight to fit in that bikini, etc), but I feel that if you're really going to make a life long change you have to do it for yourself. I wanted to change because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had put myself through too much. I remember my dad telling me when I was in High School that he didn't want to bury me before I buried him. I know.. a little harsh, but even that didn't get me to change. I had bariatric surgery because my mom and grandma thought it would be a good idea. I wasn't ready, I thought it would be a quick fix and things would be awesome in 6 months. I found out that ice cream went down awesomely and gained everything back and then some. With the right diet and exercise you get to eat what your body needs and ALL the endorphins on top of that. I love getting stronger and seeing the changes in my body. I have triceps! And they're not under layers of fat! You should see my quads! I can leg press a whole set of weights. I've knocked off 50 pounds on the assisted pull ups machine. Okay.. now I'm bragging. But it feels SO GOOD! okay. that's all. I love you. I love you all!

A perfect day of eating!

I finally made it below my calories!!! I track my food on myfitnesspal.com. With my current weight  weight loss goal it has me at 1460 calories a day. I'm also working towards having those calories come from a certain amount of carbs (50%, 183 grams) fat (15% or 24 grams) and protein (35% or 128 grams). This makes it a little harder, but you can go in to myfitnesspal and adjust the goals. They calculate the totals for you. The only thing that I would change about this day is that I didn't start eating until 10:00am (we had a meeting and I was unable to eat before I got to work).

So here you go..

Breakfast

3/4 Cup prepared Steel Cut Oats

1/4 cup Diamond Breeze Almond Milk - original

2/3 cup blueberries

275 Calories  56g carbs  4g fat  10g protein

Snack

Chobani 0% Raspberry Yogurt

140 Calories  20g carbs  0g fat   14 g protein

Lunch

4 oz chicken breast

1tbsp Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce

3/4 cup brown rice

1 Laughing cow light Garlic and Herb wedge

310 calories  44g carbs  4g fat  27g protein

Snack

1 Medium Banana

Premier Protein Vanilla Shake

3 squares endangered species org. dark chocolate

318 calories    32g carbs   7g fat   31g protein

Dinner

8oz salmon

2 cups spinach sauteed in 1/2 tsp olive oil with 1 tsp minced garlic

1/2 cup 2% low fat cottage cheese

1 cup heirloom baby tomatoes

377 calories   15g carbs   9g fat   60g protein

if you want individual caloric breakdowns let me know (or brands). 

updated "success" story

I was told by a few individuals that I needed to update my success story at the gym.. so you get to see it too :)

July 2011 - 378

 Here I am, 10 months into the best decision I have ever made in my life. For me, my weight has been the biggest personal struggle with which I have had to deal. Realizing that I was just about to turn 30, and shortening my life every day with the extra weight and poor diet, something clicked. I had to make a change and I had to make it now. I've been that person who gets a gym membership, works out really hard for MAYBE 3 months and then calls it good. I couldn't do that this time. This was going to be a life change. I needed someone to help me get started (again), push me, and hold me accountable. 


On September 8, 2011, I went in to 24 Hour Fitness, signed up for a year membership and started working out with Matt that evening.

During this time I have seen my body do things I never thought would ever be possible again. Matt started me out doing basic exercises, to get an idea of where I am at, and to see how far he could push me. Each session has been different and challenging in their own way, but it's always rewarding to see how far I have come.

Along with improving my muscle strength, I have also been able to build up my cardio endurance. In May I was able to complete my first 5K. I feel like a broken record, but I never thought I would   

December 2011 - 318

able to do that. I love not feeling trapped in an inactive, unhealthy body.

Besides the physical changes that have occurred, I have also benefited from other changes in my life. I am no longer on anti-depressants, I have so much more energy, and I have been able to meet so many people here at 24 Hour Fitness. I sincerely appreciate all the support that I have received.

If you have ever contemplated doing personal training, do it! Do it for you and see where it can take you. There are amazing trainers here, each with their own specialties. They are here to push you, it definitely won't be easy, but it will for sure be worth it. Take a step and you will amaze yourself.

That's the end of that, but I wanted to thank all of you on my blog, for following, for commenting, and all of your support. It's been a big change and I really couldn't have done it without all of that support.

Some of you have asked me for suggestions, ideas and help. My first thing is just making sure you're doing it for you. You can't lose weight for the sole purpose of maybe this guy will notice you or you just really really want to fit into the newest trend and look good. I mean you can, but it's not going to last. At least that's my perspective on the matter. Do it for you. Do it to be healthy, happy, and able to move without the aches and pains

Also, even a bigger part than exercising is making sure you're eating correctly. I"m not going to preach on this because I definitely need to be better and don't want to be a bigger hypocrite than I already am. I'm on myfitnesspal.com. I'm not always tracking my food, but I notice that I make the best decisions food-wise when I am. I feel better when I'm not eating crap, and working out is a whole lot easier. To health! 

July 2012 - 258

abandonment issues anyone?

I'm sorry.. I tell you that I'm going to keep on writing, and then I post 5 or 6 posts, and then I'm gone for another 3, almost 4 weeks. I've wanted to write, really I have, but I thought you deserved better. I tried coming up with things that would inspire you, make you laugh, or maybe even both! I'm sorry for playing with your heart that way. I can't promise anything for the future, but I'm here now.

Let's see, where were we..

Things are slowly coming along. As mentioned earlier, according to my myfitnesspal.com profile, my caloric intake shifted from 1990 to 1530 overnight. This has been a little more difficult to handle than I thought it would. I usually hit closer to 1700. I'm going to try harder to get it to where it needs to be for the best weight loss scenario. We also changed my nutrient proportions (carbs 55%, protein 30%, fat 15%). Actually, I think it's supposed to be 50, 35, 15, but I'm slowly adjusting. I have realized that although it's a definite pain the butt, tracking my food intake is by far the best way to make sure I'm eating what I need to be eating.. and I see the best results. I'll go a week or so without tracking and then I wonder why the weight isn't coming off. Then I go back to tracking and realize how much more I'm eating. Silly food!

I've been having some pain issues with my hip after I run. I've been told to stop running for the next 4 weeks. I'm really sad about this. I didn't do any running this last week already and I miss it. Stupid hip. My friend said that now that I'm an athlete I need to pay closer attention to injuries so they don't get worse. I never considered myself an athlete.

I was at boot camp on Saturday and we were doing resistance band sprints, where you have a resistance band around your waist and a partner holding you back as you run across the field. I had partnered up with a random guy and afterwards we were walking to the next station and he was like, dude, you're hella strong. I laughed and said thank you. I'm getting better at taking compliments.

I get to go home to Maryland for a week in August. It will be fun to be with all my sisters again! It's so hard to get everyone together now that we're older and spread across the States (only 3 States, but they're pretty far apart).

I'll try to have pictures next time. Until then, here are some thoughts brought to you by pinterest. I know.. pinterest..