Here we go again

So with today being the first of the month and a Thursday, it was time again for measurements. For the month of February I lost 6 pounds. It actually hurts. I've been averaging 15, so to not even get half of that kind of kills me. I've been at the gym 5 or 6 times a week. But there have also been times where I didn't do my full cardio or not as hard as usual. I have noticed being a little more lax in my diet, so I can't really make up at the gym what I eat outside of it. I need to be more proactive, keep track of what I'm eating, make better choices, and say no to that second sugar cookie. I'm just such a numbers person! Matt asked if I missed weighing myself (I had to give him my scale when I reached 299). I really do. I feel like that gives me some more control. But I was getting too out of control with weighing myself ALL the time. It's frustrating that I have to wait to weigh at the gym, clothed, at night. There's no consistency, and it weighs higher. But that just means I get to hit 299 AGAIN!
I did manage to lose 5 inches around my waist. So that's a good thing :) I noticed the other day some more extra skin (think deflating balloon). It's fun to see the little changes in my body. It's ridiculous how much joy there is in feeling my collarbones, or hip bones, or my triceps being defined.
I've been doing a lot of side extensions and back extensions (which I secretly love, it feels like I'm flying). I've noticed a lot of improvement in my core strength (I did 2 sets of leg lifts tonight, without having to stop). I've increased my speed on the stairs of death and my speed/resistance on the elliptical. Matt told me tonight that I'm the most (or at least up there) committed of his clients and possibly the strongest as well. go fig. I attribute that to having to survive carrying the extra 200lbs the last 5-10 years.
I was reading an article today in Women's health about setting goals. It used the SMART acronym. I forget all of them (and won't bore you with the details), but the T stands for timeliness. It suggests for losing 70-100 lbs to give yourself a year. Well, next week will be 6 months and I'm at 85 lbs. I think that's pretty good, if I do say so myself.
Why can't I focus on this change, on all of these positive things, instead of focusing on one stupid number on the scale. Come on, Erin!
I'm getting down to the last 15 sessions. I can't afford to buy more right now. I'm soaking up all the new exercises, figuring out new routines, and such for when Matt won't be by my side making me do wall sits, lunges, sumo squats and leg lifts. I'll most likely still do those, but having someone push you and encourage you while you're doing them makes it that much better. So if there's anyone out there that wants to sponsor the rest of my training/weight loss, feel free to do so :)
I think that's all for now. Sorry for all the word vomit. It's March, it's a new month. I need to refocus and get to where I was before. Matt reminded me that my weight loss will slow down. I don't think it was supposed to slow down this much. I'm hoping this month was a fluke. Onto March.